Water gurgler

You will know one; hey, you might even be one. It’s the water gurgler.

What is a water gurgler? A person who is obsessed with hydrating frequently and often with a lot of noise; it is difficult to drink quietly and elegantly from a plastic bottle with a restricted outlet; usually it’s a long and noisy slurp. Women outscore men as offenders.

I have no problem with people keeping up their fluids; but I do have a problem with people who carry their bottle everywhere including to meetings. No matter how long or short the meeting, they arrive and with great fanfare have a noisy slurp from the bottle. Then, every 10 minutes they slurp noisily; it is as though they are totally dehydrated.

I’ve watched a bloke at work. Over lunch in the communal eating area, he guzzles noisily every 5 minutes during his meal. I’ve even seem him do this whilst having soup. It gets to the point of being disgusting.

Just like people wearing headphones (or ear buds) on public transport and they don’t realise the loud noise they make sniffing and snorting and other guttural noises – the water gurglers don’t realise the extent of their water addiction and the associated noise and disruption at a meeting.

By all means carry a bottle of water in your bag and use it when thirsty; just don’t suck on it every 5 minutes. If you have a meeting to attend, then have a drink beforehand; or be old fashioned and take a glass of water to the meeting.